The Atheist Inquisition - Satire

The Atheist Inquisition

-A Satire-

Catholic: There is a God and I'm ready to have an intelligent discussion with anyone who wants. Really.

Atheist: Damn those Catholics and those religious fanatics! They're such intolerant, close-minded bigots who only want to shove down their believes at you! You can't debate with them, they're so brainless that they think they're always right, always ranting about their believes, always trying to prove people wrong, always flexing their Jesus Muscle for others to see. I'm not going to debate with them, they're too ridiculous! They're so insecure trying to convince other people. They are so proud trying to tell other people they are wrong! How this angers me, they are just so wrong in doing that! They live in such illusion on doing good to other people that they're only showing how little their brain really is! Such primitive people should not be allowed to live in the scientific, post-mytholy 21st century. They want us to debate with them so they can glory themselves and their man-made religion, fabricated fairytales that have haunted the unintelligent men until now! They think themselves proud when they know one Book backwards and forwards, and when they listen to debates between intelligent men of science and reason and senseless man of faith and men of the cloth. They can never recognize facts, only their own gullible and laughable opinions, rejecting these facts because they do not come from their man-made holy book! Their kind is so predictable, always recurring to running their mouths forever and ever and never answering any points in a debate; one can't truly have a debate with such species of men, if they be human at that! Perhaps they're less human and try to compensate their lack of true vision through running their mouths uttering disgusting thoughts that no reasonable man could follow and believe! Their new-found beliefs are the ones that have done this to them and because they feel so inferior to mankind now they want to trample other people so that they feel superior! But even if they should feel superior they are not superior! They are such snobs, thinking themselves better than other people, even to the point of playing judge! It's so wrong to judge people! At every opportunity they get they want to infiltrate and leave their poison all over our brains, like our friend here, trying to find ardent atheists like myself, well-educated, modest and very educated, intelligent and with a good education on logic and reason that I got through very good education. Why would I accept his challenge when we all know how ridiculous his beliefs are! After all, it is common knowledge that science has defeated the myth of Christianity, and no reasonable intelligent scientific person believes this anymore. Humanity has grown up after thousands and thousands of years and the minority then is the majority now, or at least will be soon enough after fools like this man here are refuted openly. But then again, they don't even need to be refuted openly, their mere stance is self-defeating, especially since all they do is go in circles and ignore the facts of science and history, and a great ignorance for logic. Oh what fools these are!

Catholic: Wow... The word of God truly IS the world of God: Psalm 53:1

Atheist: See? Such intolerance and assumption! They truly are asses. Look like asses, talk like asses, sound like asses, smell like asses, reason like asses! They surely do like asses, since the dude in their fictitious, nonsensical, fastidious, tedious, boring, insulting, intolerant, mythological fairy tales have their god riding in one of them asses. Such stories must be hid from kids! Corrupting the innocent! They want to force a woman to take care of a kid she didn't intend to have because they want to indoctrinate that kid with this non-sense! They make YouTube Channels and Blogs and put quotes on their Facebook accounts trying to bring some crusade against any man of reason! Wrong they are, I say, wrong they are! They assume they know so much but they really know nothing. We must show them how little they know. We must stop them from spreading nonsense around! We must stop them from being so closed-minded and intolerant. We must hit them where it hurts! We must do a crusade against their crusades - which, by the way, were such act of intolerance and stupidity!!! All because of man-made religions and the will to control and have power over other people! We must conquer this nonsense and show them the right way, even if it means stealing their Bibles from bookstores so that no innocent, unreasonable stupid people fall into their lies. Even if we must go to court to make the printing of Bibles illegal because they are printed by machines made in a country where the government does not endorse any type of religious view! Even if we must put to jail those fools like this one who seeks to invade my private time out here in my university, where free speech is a privilege not to be abused by talking nonsense and private opinions and beliefs that people like him need to keep to themselves! We need to arrest them and burn these religious books! Without them the world would be a better place! Without them, and without people like him we would be a human race of intelligent, superior men! We would be rid of these parasites, this scum that think and talk like sub-human beasts! We, the superior race, must win over these vermin! I will it!

Catholic: Wow. David was truly inspired by the Holy Spirit: Psalm 14:1